Snippets, most snarky, some not

It was a transcendent moment in human thought, when we put a price and a value on our individual time.

Some see the glass as half-empty. Some see it as half-full. In an hour I’ll be so drunk I’ll see two of them no matter what; how’s that for positive thinking?

The meaning of life is what meaning you bring to it.

The purpose of life is to give life purpose.

Some see the glass as half-empty. Some see it as half-full. I think it all depends on whether or not it has a paper umbrella in it.

That which doesn’t kill fools needs to be made stronger.

If your support and practice of a religion brings out in you the worst in human nature, you might be missing the point.

Sure, life is a banquet, but some days I just feel like ordering in.

Some see the glass as half-empty. Some see it as half-full. Does it matter if you don’t have any arms? You can’t reach it anyway.

Life is like a box of chocolates…remember, a retarded guy thought this one up.

I keep hearing that homosexuals are the cause of moral decay in the world today. Does this mean we’re going down in flames?

“The truth shall set you free.” Not so much. Friends with bail money however…

When will black be “the new black?”

“I am that I am.” Cryptic fellow, this God person.

If life is a banquet, why do so many religions tell me I should be living on beans and rice?

Xenaphobia: fear of strange warrior princesses.