Monday, February 23, 2009

Microblog Mondays


Douche from the French, shower: 1) A stream of water or air applied to a body part or cavity. 2) An instrument for applying a douche. American Heritage Dictionary, 3rd Edition p255

Douchiness: The quality of being a douche, whether whole or in part. In scientific notation, exponential quantities of being a penis, cunt, or whore, expressed in powers of douche: total, complete, unbelievable, et al.

Douchy: An expression describing noticeable levels of douchiness.

Douche Canoe: What one travels in when immersed in complete douchiness.

Douche Bag: A human vessel for carrying douchiness, theoretically of infinite size.

Douche Lord: 1) One to whom other douches defer as having the superior quantity or quality of douchiness. 2) Male having transcended the limits of being a penis.

Ménage a Douche: Three or more douche bags, usually traveling via douche canoe.

Douche Master: Douche bag who helps others discover their inner douche.

Douche Fu: Self defense techniques practiced mainly by douche bags, though can be used to combat douchiness.

Douche Camp: Congregational location for various douche bags, douche masters, and douche lords to commingle unequal quantities of douchiness until equilibrium of equal douchiness is reached by all. Often produces compete douchiness, requiring douche canoes.

Douchetastic: Expression of admiration for incorporating douchiness where none was thought possible.

Douchaccino: The bitter drink of being unalterably stuck in the company of a douche bag.

Douchage: Informal, all the douchiness one has left in one’s wake, douche bag or not.

Megadouche: a douche bag exceeding his or her normal ability to douche. Only one is able to fit per canoe.

Instadouchional: Formalized and traditional modes and practices of douchiness.

Douchebaggery: Improvisational acts of varying douchiness.

Douchependant/Douchependancy: Douchbags whose effective douchiness is dependant on proximity of other douche bags. The number and strength of douchiness varies as to whether the needed douchebag is a bag, master, or lord.

Douchesaur: A limitless megadouche.

1 comment:

Gretchen said...


You are a douchetard.